It may not seem like it, but living in Alabama right now is a major blessing to our family because of what it means for my husbands career.  It's incredibly temporary and if I do complain about it, it's not a real issue.  I'm a very flexible, optimistic person; you have to be, in a military family.  
We're together = we're happy.

You always have to find the silver lining.
Even though I had to put my formal education on hiatus to come here, it has turned out to be a very lucrative environment for me. Not being swamped with school work and the hustle/bustle of the city has given me more time than I've had in a long time to do my own writing.  There is a peacefulness here that allows me time to think without distraction.  Time to make plans for what I want for myself and what we want for our family.  

And yet...
I miss the classroom like crazy.
I feel like it's all fading and I might be losing everything I've learned. 
So I just keep writing...

But still, I get so restless.  I keep telling myself, I have time. I have time.  
I will use this year to have fun with it.
No pressure, no expectations.  There is no hurry.  
But I still get so damn restless.  

I am constantly bugging my husband...
"When will we find out our next duty station?"
 "Where do you think we're going next?  Is there a college there?"

I came so close to finishing my degree and I voluntarily walked away knowing that I would go back.  Actually, I stopped going because I had Jude while Jeremy was deployed, but that's a decision I would make the same way a million times over if I had to.  My children needed me, and they always come first.
No regrets. At all.

I can be so hard on myself.  I blame myself for wasting time, when I know that time spent being a mother is anything but wasted.  

I have to just let myself relax and just accept that for now, I have this short time to focus on myself, my goals, my family, our future.  

I drive myself crazy.

{deep breath}

source

Thanks for sticking through that, if you did.
I rambled a bit, didn't I?

Do you ever feel this way?
Like you can't relax when you know you should?

-Jessica