When was the last time I just wrote a blog post from the heart?   Too damn long, I say.

So, to catch up...all of that getting settled in Germany stuff aside, I'm diving into this writing career business head on.  I'm eating up any article I can get my hands on, scouting freelance gigs, preparing for graduation in April.  It's exciting, but it's also a little...bleh.

The days fly by and sometimes I hardly get anything done.  If I get one article query done in seven days, I consider that a success...meanwhile, it can take MONTHS to hear back.  So, now what?  I'm barely squeezing in time to work with the kids and errands and housework and weekends and sometimes it feels like I'm stuck in this valley of impossibility surrounded by mountains I have to climb, getting nowhere on any of them.

And all I really want is to do things.  I want to accomplish something.  Everyday I think...I need to blog more.  I need to write more.  I need to read more.  I need to play with Jude more.  I need to do more and all that comes is less of everything because I am just so damned overwhelmed.

And to top it off...how isolating is the writer's life?  Throw in being over here and it almost feels as if I'm shouting into an abyss and no one can hear me.  And all I have to do is stop trying and it will be like I was never here at all.

It's very much that "is everyone hanging out without me?" feeling.

*Emo whine sesh over*